The Effects of Reading a Really Smart Book
by doramatikku
Summary: Iruka told Kakashi that he couldn't finish a book without pictures, Kakashi turned it into a bet of sorts, and we all know that Kakashi loves his copies of Make-out Paradise. (shounen ai; iruka x kakashi)


First posted at tempsmort community at livejournal.  
--Slightly edited so that the segments didn't end as abruptly as the first edition.  
  
My house was rather small; in fact, I don't think it would even be considered a house since it only had one bedroom, a living room and bathroom. It was so small that with one person living in it, it already seemed crowded. You'd have to be crazy to house another person in there, but I guess I was lingering by the moon a bit too long last night.  
  
Kakashi sat on my small wooden bed, letting the sunlight from the window shower him while he lost himself in a book, the same book that he's been reading since the day I met him. His fingers gently held onto the tip of the page, and then carefully he'd bring it to the other side, exposing a brand new page of... whatever. I stood across from him, my arms cross and my face fuming.  
  
But he didn't seem to notice.  
  
I tapped my foot.  
  
And he still didn't notice.  
  
"Kakashi!" I hollered, the blood rose to my head in a blind rage.  
  
"Yes?" he cocked his head to the side, staring at me for a second before returning to his book.  
  
"Can't you read anything else?" this was indeed a blind rage, I had no need to be angry, really. But the fact that the was going to be staying at my tiny little 'house' for the next three days or so, reading nothing but porn bothered me. Well, it was sharing my already small house that really bothered he; I had accepted the fact that all he read was porn long ago.  
  
"What else is there to read? Besides, this book is much more fun." He resumed to reading.  
  
"I swear, you've read that stupid thing at least ten times from cover to back!" I turned away from him and headed to my small bookshelf, skimming through the titles and looking for something that might catch his attention.  
  
Bingo.  
  
Without warning, I threw the book to his side only to have him catch it smoothly, never once looking away from his book. Just like a shinobi should be, alert at all times.  
  
"What's this?" he mused; Kakashi put the book onto the nightstand without so much as a second glance.  
  
"It's A Really Smart Book," I picked up the blanket that had been lying on the floor for who knows how long, "if you're going to stay here, you might as well read one educational book."  
  
"No, really, what's the book called?"  
  
"A Really Smart Book."  
  
He finally paid attention to the book, giving it just more than a slight glance. "Are you serious?" he stifled a laugh as he put the book down.  
  
"Yes, I am dead serious. No more porn until you finish that book! It should take you a while too, seeing how it's three hundred pages."  
  
"Okay, let's make this interesting then." Kakashi put both books down and stared at me, actually looking at me for the first time since he walked into my room and began reading, "If I finish this book of yours in about two days or less, you'll be mine for a whole day." He smirked.  
  
"Yeah, sure, but I doubt you'd finish it in time. There's no pictures in it." I walked out of the door and into the part living room part kitchen side of the 'house', stalling at the door long enough to hear him mutter.  
  
"You underestimate me too much."  
  
So it begins.   
  
And the next day after that, he was reading nonstop. I was amazed actually, by the time I had gotten up and stumbled blindly out of my room, I found that he was already washed and ready for the day to begin, and he was actually absorbed into the book.  
  
I settled by the small kitchen stove, gathering my pan and spatula. "Kakashi, what do you want for breakfast?"  
  
"Cereal and eggs." He didn't look up.  
  
So I occupied myself with fixing breakfast, glancing nervously every so often at him reading. The morning had barely begun and he had read a fourth of the book. What have I gotten myself into? "By the way," I tried to stall him from reading any further, "You have to prove to me somehow that you've read it."  
  
He gave me thumbs up from behind the pages.  
  
I was scared, very scared indeed. Who knows what he had planned out in that little head of his? At this rate, he'd probably be done by midnight tonight!  
  
Sliding the eggs over easy onto a giant plate, I brought it to the table along with everything else needed for breakfast: milk, cereal, bowls, plates, forks and spoons, the works.  
  
It was quiet, much too quiet. "So... Kakashi," I alternated looks between him and my egg, trying to keep him from realizing how nervous I was actually becoming by our little bet, "how's the book?"  
  
He took a fork and poked a bit of his egg, stabbing away at the egg whites, (all while keeping his eyes on the book!) "Don't try to worm your way through this, dear Iruka, I have many things planned for your day of ownage."  
  
"Kakashi, I don't think 'ownage' is a real word..."  
  
But he didn't answer me; during breakfast, lunch and dinner, I glanced nervously towards his direction and each time I was confronted with the same scene: Kakashi engrossed into a book with no pictures. he certainly was making progress; the rest of the day, my stomach tied itself in knots.  
  
Its payback time.   
  
I was sleeping, dreaming of green meadows and a picnic, just me, myself and my other self. The day was sunny with no hints of clouds whatsoever and I was actually enjoying myself for once, no more worries of the shinobi weighing me down. Then it grew dark and there was a loud clap of thunder.  
  
I had imagined the skies growing black and purple, but I'm afraid the clap of thunder was real; actually, it was Kakashi slamming the book down on my poor defenseless body.  
  
"You're supposed to be a trained shinobi and here you are with you're guard let down like you're on a picnic!" Kakashi laughed and climbed into my bed, jumping away and causing chaos. There wasn't even light out yet! My fingers fumbled around for my alarm clock and I nearly threw it when I realized that it was one in the morning.  
  
One in the freakin' morning!  
  
"What's wrong with you Kakashi? It's ONE A.M."  
  
"Actually, it's really 1:09 ante meridian. You have approximately five more hours until sunset though technically it is morning seeing how midnight marks the beginning of the new day." He gave me the biggest smile I've ever seen him wear, and normally it meant that something was going to happen. He then handed me an apple.  
  
"Its been known that apples are effective at waking a person up and giving them energy, eat."  
  
Why was he being so pragmatic all of a sudden?  
  
Then I remembered why, he must have finished the book.  
  
I sat defenseless, wearing nothing but a scanty tank top and pajama bottoms waiting for my doom as he peeled the apples and hand fed them to my mouth.  
  
"I can feed myself." I muttered as I took the apple from him.  
  
"Today's going to be a happy-fun sort of day!" he smiled as he shoved yet another apple into my already stuffed mouth.  
  
"For you maybe." I was not happy, it was one in the morning and I had only two hours of sleep in me. And I noticed the sanguine colored apple, so deep and red, it looked so confident about something... actually Kakashi was acting rather confident, in a spooky, happy sort of way.  
  
Oh my goodness, what the heck have I gotten myself into?  
  
He hadn't even waited for me to finish before he straddled me onto the bed, pinning my arms behind me. I nearly choked as he ran his tongue along my jaw line, biting and licking the entire way.  
  
Once the apples were out of my way, I tried to kick him off, only to have him 'tsk, tsk, tsk' at me.  
  
"Remember our little bargain? By contract, you belong to me for a full twenty-four hours, don't you remember? Or shall I refresh your aging memory?"  
  
"... I hate you." I mumbled as he licked my earlobe, using his tongue to play around with it.  
  
"But I just adore you," he snickered as he teased my fingers, wrapping his tongue around it, then unwrapping it again. "Aren't you the enthusiastic paramour?"  
  
"What the heck are you talking about? We're not even in an affair." I snapped.  
  
He removed my tank top, pouting as he did so, "Where is your imagination? Can't you pretend that this is an affair and be stimulated by it? Stop giving me that mirthless look!"  
  
"You really read that book, didn't you?"  
  
"Yes I did, and it only took me a little over a day." His fingers tumbled down to my drawstrings and there a brief battle ensued; Kakashi was trying to rip away what little clothing I had left and I was trying to keep it on.  
  
"Let go!" he growled, sounding more like himself than he did ever since he got here. "I'm your subduer, dammit! And you're my bauble! Geez, I want sex and not the boring conjugal type either! The recalcitrant-servant type!"  
  
I struggled my way off of the bed, trying to escape his feral looks, "So you want bondage? Well I apologize seeing how I rather dislike bondage!"  
  
He jumped on me, giving my back a little crack and it was then that I knew that all was lost.  
  
... Are you still alive?   
  
I was aching all over, not just south of the border. Stupid Kakashi, wouldn't even let me take a bathroom break until I nearly didn't make it. I was too sore to even lift my head to check the time, but it was must have been noon already since the sun was at its full peak.  
  
He lay curled around me, his legs were clutching me to that I wouldn't move and his face was buried in my hair.  
  
Finally, I willed myself to sit up to at least survey the damage.  
  
"Ye Gods..." We were lying in the doorway to my bedroom, blankets and various things were scattered everywhere. The whole place looked as though a storm hit it, a storm with a full throttle sex drive. I sat there for a moment or two, amused by the sound of Kakashi quietly snoring in his sleep, when something caught my eye. Gently moving his hand so that his palm came into view, I found that there were smudged words with definitions written on his hand. The definition, part of speech and different forms for all these words that only a dictionary would use! And in the corner of my eye, I spied the book I gave him. I flipped through the pages, only to find photocopies and excerpts of Make-Out Paradise Volume Three taped in the pages.  
  
"KAKASHI!!!!!"  
  
There was going to be hell to pay. 


End file.
